Godly Dating: 5 Keys To A Christ Centered Relationship
How to Have a God Centered Dating Relationship
Do you want to have God at the center of your dating relationship? Would you like God to influence the love you show another person? Here is some advice that can help you pursue God’s will in your dating relationship.
Remember that God’s Love is the ultimate.Knowing the love God has for you means that you do not have to seek fulfillment in how anyonemakes you feel(a weakness of human love): the most perfect love comes from God, and it is always yours. He will do much more tofill the love-spacethan a person ever could. Approach your dating relationship knowing that Godlikes youand loves you, and there is plenty room for wonders of love, marriage, mature family love, i.e.: constancy (not fickleness) thus enabling you to build and love your own family, of course. (Christians: Always remember He sent His son, Jesus, to die for your sins.) Make sure you are strong in your loving relationship with God. This means knowing that He is always there to help you along the way. Trust Him. Make God the most important in your life. Make Him the love of your life.
Know theideal matchfor you.Date someone that you would consider marrying. Choose a person that has a similar desire for God, one that will build you up in your faith. If you are already in a relationship, positively encourage one another in pursuing God. Help your boyfriend or girlfriend to keep God the focus. Understand that Christians are not to be "unequally yoked" that is, if they are not willing to accept the faith, the relationship might have to be sacrificed.
Pray.Pray about your dating relationship. Give everything over to God. Let God know that you are asking His approval. Talk to God about the problems that arise. Thank Him for the opportunity to be in a relationship and the happy times you experience. You can also pray with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It is a good way to help each other out with whatever stresses life brings. By praying together, you are experiencing God together. Though, it could make the focus more about you two building intimacy—still there is a tendency to bring out one another's faults in prayer; therefore, avoid prodding, interrogating, judging; instead, help each other in order to build trust; love and forgive each other as the Lord's Prayer models for us.
Talk about God.Make an effort to bring God into your conversations. Not only will it help in keeping God on your minds, you will also find out about each others beliefs. Talking about a spiritual subject changes normal conversation into one of eternal significance. Discussing God also allows you to build up each others knowledge and confidence.
Read the Bible.Keeping God’s words in your heart helps you to remember the love and promises He has for you. Try reading the Bible together. It is fun, spiritual and good for conversation. Different verses will help you along the way in your relationship.
Get involved with Church.Make sure your boyfriend or girlfriend and you are active in the body of Christ. You will feel good about sharing God’s love. He calls us to serve Him.
Be careful with physical affection.Hugs are great. God created physical affection to be good. But be careful in how much physical permission you give one another. A relationship can easily turn sinful if physical bonding occurs too quickly. Everyone is different. But if you feel guilty at all for actions, it may be good indication that you are going too far. Avoid physical actions that might cause lustful thoughts (such as sitting on lap, laying on each other or sensual kissing and massages). Save sex for marriage. Talk about your physical actions with each other, making sure you are both comfortable and feeling great. Understand what might be innocent to one or another might very well be dangerous to you.
Show Christ’s love to each other.Make sacrifices for each other. Watch a chick flick. Go to a basketball game. Be willing to serve one another. Put one another above yourselves. Find how to show love to each other. Use the love God has shown you and bring it to your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Bring out all of "The 'Fruit' of the Spirit":notice it isnotfruits,we are not to pick and choose the ones we prefer. This will work to relieve stress in relationships in this World of troubles.
- Cheerfully realize this is a package—not bits or pieces:"Love, joy, peace, long-suffering (patience), gentleness (kindness), goodness, meekness (gentleness), faith (faithfulness) and temperance (self-control)... Against such things there is no law.", Galatians 5:22-23 KJV (parentheses NIV).Read those again and again...
Have Fun and Praise and Glorify God.Smile and know that God is with you. Enjoy the life that God has given the both of you. Whenever you get the chance, praise God for whatever He has poured into your life. Trust and know that God has your back. He wants what is best for the both of you.
Cherish your own personal 'God time'.Make sure you spend time alone with God. You need moments of reading the Bible, journaling or praying just between you and God. Since God is your ultimate love, it is good to have that time alone with Him.
Keep in mind the reality that God is real.While having a special someone can bring great happiness in this world, realizing the eternally wonderful nature of God’s love is something you do not want to miss. God is real. His love is real. God is love. Realize that God is working in your life right now. His forgiveness is real and His promises are real. Give the love God has given you to your boyfriend or girlfriend. God’s love is perfect. Let Christ’s love reign in your dating relationship. Let the love you have for each other be a banner to the world displaying God’s goodness. Remember though, "You are not your own, you were bought at a price" - therefore God must reign in your relationships. We are called to be holy, because He is holy. We might very well have to "honor [our] father and mother, [our] wife and children, [our] brothers and sisters--yes, even [our] own life--"; our dating relationships are no exception. Remember, as C.S. Lewis has said, that love that becomes a god, becomes a demon. Submit all your love, therefore, to the one that is Love, and He, like a gardener, shall prune our loves which are so fickle and temporary by nature, into beautiful gardens which we may share with all our relationships including our dating relationships.
QuestionHow do I deal with being single?Gigi KingCommunity AnswerBeing single is a time to reflect upon what is it is that makes you happy, what you can do to improve upon yourself. Right now might not be the time to be with someone, because deep down inside you have to learn how to work on you, love you first in order to love someone else. Do what makes you happy, find yourself, think about the future, what goals you wish to seek, think about yourself, and when feeling discouraged, pray. Being single can bring you closer to God, as you'll have more time to work on your relationship with Him.Thanks!
QuestionI'm dating a guy that believes sex makes us intimate. I have tried talking him out of it, but it's not working. What should I do?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerIf he loves you, then he will listen to you and respect your wishes. Intimacy can be gained in plenty of ways besides sex -- laying and talking together, walking and holding hands, or just being together can all build intimacy. Sex is easy, but intimacy is harder. Let him know that you will not change your mind about this, but that you would like to practice building intimacy with some other methods.Thanks!
QuestionIs it OK for Christians to have crushes on each other?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerDefinitely. It's just part of human nature.Thanks!
QuestionShould a Christian guy pursue a girl he really likes?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerYes. Christians believe in marriage, so pursuing a girl you really like is the first step to that end.Thanks!
QuestionIs it only about a girl's outer beauty?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerAlthough looks are what draw people to each other initially, it is personality that keeps them interested.Thanks!
QuestionCan a black boy have a white girl as a wife?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerYes, if she wants to marry you and you treat her right. God has nothing against interracial marriage.Thanks!
QuestionHow do I deal with emotions and sexual feelings when dating a Christian guy?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerJust make sure that you don't push things further than he is ready for, as Christianity supports abstinence up until marriage, and then only with your spouse. As for emotions, open and honest communication is always best.Thanks!
QuestionWhat do I do in a relationship when I feel that I'm being pushed away?Gigi KingCommunity AnswerBack off, walk away. That other person may not know how to tell you it's over. Maybe when you do leave, absence will make the heart grow fonder, and all the little things appreciated about you will be missed and your phone will start ringing.Thanks!
QuestionHow should Romeo wait for his Juliet?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerBe respectful of all females. The right one will come along eventually and she is definitely worth the wait. In the meantime, study Shakespeare and continue to improve yourself as much as possible.Thanks!
QuestionHow I have a God-centered relationship when we have already had sex?Gigi KingCommunity AnswerGod knows, hears, and sees all; most importantly, God forgives us of all our sins. By accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior is where you begin and continue. Keep going to church, reading your Bible, and keeping the faith.Thanks!
- Don’t fall into society telling you what you two should be doing, and just trust God’s timing. In the right time, di not wait more instead do your part. Lest you may be too late.
- Also try reading different Christian dating books.
- Establish boundaries with your significant other. Don't do anything that makes you or them uncomfortable.
- Never underestimate the importance of communication! While maintaining a clear understanding of one another is important in all relationships, romantic relationships cannot flourish unless you and your partner are willing to discuss any issues that pertain to your relationship. If you're nervous about discussing your faith lives with your boyfriend or girlfriend, realize that your partner will likely appreciate your openness and concern for the well-being of your relationship.
- Be sure to guard your heart spiritually. Limit your fantasy and idle daydreaming and focus on reality-—so daydream of how you may succeed in real-life goals: education, college, career and your own new-family as you grow up. Ask God to protect you from the total heartache of being desperate for "how a person can make you feel."
- Keep in mind God is first and should be the foundation and base of every relationship.
- Remember that—Biblically speaking—unless the couple in question is married before God, they must abstain from sexual relations. Make sure both parties in question are aware of this and have agreed to be respectful.
- Remember that a person cannot fill the holes only God can fill. Do not set yourself up for disappointment. We are all merely human. Be willing to forgive and forget. Love as Christ would love. God loves you more than any man ever could. You keep running; don't stop. Just keep looking up to Him and be focused solely on him.
- Avoid temporary relationships that sidetrack you from your real-life goals with things that will not stand over time—and for eternity—and can not satisfy your longings.
Sources and Citations
- The Fruit of the Spirit -- Galatians 5:22-23
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